like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
