I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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