you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We have so much sex to catch up on
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize