Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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