she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize