why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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