Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
