Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize