if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
