I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
