I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
