I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
