If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
