Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How does it feel to date your dad?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
