I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
