he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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