so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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