we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
