No, you can still breathe under the balls.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
