I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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