i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Houston, we have a squirter
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
