do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize