you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
