apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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