i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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