Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
