1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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