just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
