just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize