it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
