So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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