Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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