found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
