ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
operation have a gay friend backfired
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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