Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Less talking, more tequila
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
