i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
