she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
