wakey wakey hands off snakey
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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