A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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