she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
