Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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