that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
