Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize