the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When are your genitals available?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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