I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
