go do what you do best...puke behind churches
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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