I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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