Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
