How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
