My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
