it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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