we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize