she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
