Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
