one two three fourrrrnication!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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