After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
