my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
