my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize